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Saturday, April 11, 2009

Could you forgive???

This afternoon I was watching a program about a woman who was raped while in college. The college nor the police believed she was raped cause it was in the 80[s and most did not believe a woman could be raped if she was on a date with a guy. They felt she asked for it since she was with him and things just got carried away. She never forgot it. It haunted her but she learned to live with it til she got a letter from him asking for forgiveness. They began a correspondence and in ont of the letter he admitted he raped her and was sorry because he joined aaa and had to apologize to all the ones he hurt.

She kept that letter and gave it to the cops. She said she forgave him but she could not just let himg get away. You see it was a gang rape and several of his friends took their turns. She just did not remember it all at the time and was too traumatized. He made a deal and did not have to go to trial and only served two years but he had to turn over the names of the others involved.

I feel she did the right thing. She was not concerned as to how long he was in jail but the fact that no on believed she was raped is what hurt her as much as anything. Like her I would want justice if I could get it.

You see I experienced date rape. It was only one man, not a group and of course no one would believe me in the seventies. It just did not happen. You went out with a guy and he had sex with deserved it, right? That is how many looked at it.

I am glad things have changed but I feel that many women still do not report it because people would still think it was her fault because she put herself in that situation by going out with him.

They are wrong. I hope that every young woman who experiences this traumatic act gets justice!! You can forgive. Forgetting is another matter.


  1. I'm glad she followed through too. It would be a tough thing to do. Forgiveness is good but I think justice has it's place or people get the idea that you can do whatever you want without consequence.

    I think date rape was probably common - now, girls are just as into sex as the boys but back then we had to try to maintain a "good" reputation - the guys figured that's what we were up to - playing hard to get - and pushed it.

  2. I am so sorry that happened to you. I'm beginning to believe a lot of people go through rape and molestation without ever talking about it. I hope we have raised children who will speak out. I dated through the first half of the 60's and we mostly dated with a group of friends. In my small town I saw things getting worse as the years went by. I'm horrified at the thought of what young people go through on dates today. God bless you, Doylene

  3. Thanks Doylene and Jeannie. It is not easy for young women today and it seems to get worse.