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Thursday, April 15, 2010

Unwanted Advice

Why do people feel they have to give mothers advice when it is not asked for? Both of my daughters are in a financial bind as a lot of others are now. We cannot give them money but we can help them by letting them stay with us til they found an apt. which is the plan for both of them. I was talking to a lady and when I told her the girls were coming home and we would be helping them for a few weeks, she responded with, 'why do you enable your kids?..If they were my kids..."

That 'if they were my kids bothers me'. I never used that phrase and never asked for advice unless I wanted it. If they asked, I gave it. No one ever really asked me so I would let them talk and keep my thoughts on what they should or should not do with their kids to myself, unless they were harming the kids in some way.

I heard a young mother say people are always giving her advice and her friand said, 'Oh, they always give young moms advice.'

I spoke up and said, 'Not only young moms but the older ones get it too at times.' I turned to the young woman and said, "No matter what anyone says, you do what you think is best for you and your child."

I know my daugher's mother in law always offers opinions on what they are doing wrong with alix. Alix is loved. She is not abused. As long as she is loved, healthy and happy, I will keep my mouth shut.

And about that statement, 'If they were my kids', no one knows what they would do in any situation until it happens to them. I know a man who said that no daughter of his would ever get pregnant without being married. He had four girls. Three of them proved him wrong.


  1. HAHAhahahaaaa.....Oh Girl!! Right On! My motto has Always been...You need to do what you can live with!!! I will always let my daughter come home!! And That's That!
    This IS home, if she needs it, so GOOD FOR YOU!
    Tell those Do-Gooders to piss off!
    Oooops...sorry! You know I don't say bad words...but I get riled up when busy bodies start trying to tell someone else how They need to do things...just tell 'em to Shut up and go sit down...there...LOL

  2. If they were MY daughters, I would do the same as you. Maybe you are enabling them to get a foot in the door - to get where they want to be without worrying so badly how to make ends meet. Just because your kids come back home to live for a bit doesn't mean they are deadbeats - maybe that woman's kids are - and I bet they barely come home for Christmas.

  3. Oh my Gosh, I am soooo perfect with my kids!!!!
    My life is perfect and my kids are perfect.

    Who is that woman? Love Di ♥

  4. Oh Garnet, do what you think is best sweetie, what do others know of your relationship with your daughters......sending you much love...Hugs

  5. this woman is a young woman whose kids are like three or four and she is a therapist of sorts who is a busy body on the side.

  6. When we made our big move almost five years ago, we were told more than once that you should never move to be near family. We did. It's been great. Mind you, we liked the area well enough that we knew we could be happy here if family moved on.