Why do people feel they have to give mothers advice when it is not asked for? Both of my daughters are in a financial bind as a lot of others are now. We cannot give them money but we can help them by letting them stay with us til they found an apt. which is the plan for both of them. I was talking to a lady and when I told her the girls were coming home and we would be helping them for a few weeks, she responded with, 'why do you enable your kids?..If they were my kids..."
That 'if they were my kids bothers me'. I never used that phrase and never asked for advice unless I wanted it. If they asked, I gave it. No one ever really asked me so I would let them talk and keep my thoughts on what they should or should not do with their kids to myself, unless they were harming the kids in some way.
I heard a young mother say people are always giving her advice and her friand said, 'Oh, they always give young moms advice.'
I spoke up and said, 'Not only young moms but the older ones get it too at times.' I turned to the young woman and said, "No matter what anyone says, you do what you think is best for you and your child."
I know my daugher's mother in law always offers opinions on what they are doing wrong with alix. Alix is loved. She is not abused. As long as she is loved, healthy and happy, I will keep my mouth shut.
And about that statement, 'If they were my kids', no one knows what they would do in any situation until it happens to them. I know a man who said that no daughter of his would ever get pregnant without being married. He had four girls. Three of them proved him wrong.