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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I have not been on here for a few days as things have been hectic around here again.  Plus I have the old arthritus acting up and a head cold but I am still hanging in there.

Then there is the minor problem of the wayward daughter.  She was supposed to come home today but we got a call from a woman at 4 Sunday morning, informing us that my daughter was drunk, on drugs and laying on her couch and she wanted her out.  It was from a town about thirty miles away and my husband had to get to work and I just could not go after her. Nor would I.

I don't mean to sound cold but she is almost thirty and refuses to give up on the drugs and alcohol.She goes for two or three months without then goes off the wagon.  Every time she goes off, we step in and pick up the pieces, hoping that she will finally get off the drugs and alcohol and stay off.  She is a mean drunk.  She causes fights and all sorts of disruptions when she is drinking and I will not have that any more.

I hope she is here for the holidays.  We told her she is welcome to come but she cannot live here any more.    It is a shame because she is such a wonderful person and she was doing so well with the helpshe was getting from d and a.

But they have to want to quit drugs and alcohol and until she wants to quit, there is little we can do to help her.

But I am going to have a busy day tomorrow getting things ready for thanksgiving.  We will be having the tradtional things but they will be done differently.  My sil will be frying the turkey.  I will do the rest.

I will try and get to some blogs tomorrow.


  1. Oh Garnet...I can SO relate to this. Our Son was like that as well. We were Constantly picking up the pieces, cleaning up the constant messes after his "sprees". Hubby and I, Constantly tore up over What To Do Next....horrible time. We tried Everything but it's like you say, they Have to Want to Stop. We "enabled" him to continue his behavior for years until one day, while Son was "visiting" (he needed more money), he said something that was like a Cold bucket of water thrown at me...I "LOOKED" at Son...and Finally realised, This Has to stop! We would No Longer be a willing participant. He left the house angry at my refusal of handing out More money and we didn't see or hear from him for about a year. I can't tell you how long I cried over my decision because I was just plain, numb! You know the feeling...
    Today, he's 40...not perfect, but trying. He has a girlfriend and when he visits, he's loving. He has a job...and he and girlfriend will be sharing Thanksgiving with us tomorrow. God has been with him, as we have prayed so hard for him, to be....It's not perfect but it's One day at a time. We see no evidence of drugs and I pray we don't. He's worth so much more than that...he's our "baby".....
    Bless both of our children and all the Other "children" out there in their struggles with this demon...
    YOU hold your head up and BELIEVE!
    Love is a Powerful thing...but to Believe something you can't "see" is the Most powerful thing on Earth...
    Love to you sweetie...Happy Thanksgiving to you and the family!

  2. I'm so sorry about your daughter. For some reason, drugs seem to grab some people harder than others. Like I suppose food grabs others, and greed grabs others again. If we are unlucky, we will find that thing that makes us slaves. Refusing to support her weakness must be so hard - but necessary. Don't give up - it will likely take a while for her to see she must take responsibility for all her actions and choices.

  3. This must be so hard for a parent. Addictions are tough. It sounds like she wants to get clean if she tries hard for months at a time, but then she falls again. Wish I could help, but I imagine you wish even more that you could.

  4. Garnet...I totally understand. My son is the same way. Goes in spurts. He's just so unhappy inside. Wish he'd get help. Its hard though when you're the parent. Tough love! Either way I have you have a beautiful Thanksgiving holiday with your family. Hugs for you!

  5. We have not heard from her since that call early Monday morning. She has disappeared before for days at a time. We have called all the friends we know and they have not seen her. We will wait til Friday and try to see if she will call. If we have not found her by then, we may put out a missing persons report. I doubt they will do much since she is an adult but they may be able to find her.

    Barb...you are right. She is a very unhappy young woman.

    Donna...I am glad your son is doing better.

    I hope all of you have a wonderful holiday.

  6. Oh Garnet I am so sorry for all of you, your daughter as well. She is not happy the way she is yet not strong enough to reach out for help. She needs professional help sweetie, when she takes that step they will let you know what you can do, otherwise you must not enable, it will only make her worse. Praying for all of you and wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving, big hugs always...:-)

  7. It is a very hard choice Garnet but what you are doing is right. Being an enabler only lets the problem go on and on. Love Di ♥