• It has been a while since I have been here and I am not expecting many visits from old friends but I would still like to post a few things.  Some of you are on facebook with me and some are not. I sort of miss the ones who are not.  I did enjoy reading your thoughts on things but sometimes life gets in the way and I really felt for the longest time I had nothing to write about.  I felt that so many had lives that were betting and much more exciting then mine.  
• Then my younger brother died.  It was such a painful death.  Pancreatic cancer took him.  It was such a painful time for me.  I had not expected him to die first.  I honestly expected him to be the one burying me.  And his wife does not like most of his family she she did not even tell me when the funeral was.  I did not get to see him before he died but we talked on the phone and I had a wonderful conversation with him.  
• Our relationship was complicated.  I made some foolish mistakes when I was younger and so did he.  We did not talk for the longest time but as I got older I wanted to see him and talk to him more.  He felt the same way but his wife felt she married beneath her and did not want him socializing with the family.   

About a year before he died, she decided to divorce him.  She was in the process of completing it when he received the diagnosis and she made it very plain that she was with him simply because she had a better insurance and it would cover him since he was her spouse.  The day he died, she moved the guy she had been living with into their home.  Her daughters are furious and they do not speak to her so I guess she will discover that life may not be that great without my brother.

I am just glad for the time I had with him.  I have some pictures but do not have them scanned yet so it may be some time before I post them. 

This has been one of the busiest months.  I have not had a lot of time to myself to sit and think or do the things I would like.  I have had the grand with me most of the time since mom has been working and studying for her finals.

But she is with her mom this week and will be spending the weekend with her other grandparents so I have several free days right now.

My flowers are doing great this year so I am posting some pictures of them.

We also go to see mom in law every other day.  Hubby goes every day and his brother goes every day.  His sister?  well, she could go more then what she does but that is another story.  There is one like that in every family, I think.  I just think she will regret it some day.  The other daughter in law has been extra good too.  We are still searching for an assisted living home to place her in when she is ready to go.  She will not be able to live on her own.

This morning hubby decided it was time to sand the room ceiling with the sander before he started painting. I was on the porch with my kindle when I heard the fire alarm go off.      We did not know that dust from the sander would set the fire alarm off and we ended up with the fire dept calling us to see what was going on.  We told them no fire.  At least they did not send the fire trucks like the did the day my daughter was cooking.

I will try and visit some of your blogs later today.  Hope all of you are doing well.

The decision that no one wanted to make.

It all started this Sunday.  My husband went up to see his mom in the morning.  He could not get in so he came back and got her keys (we had a spare set) to unlock her door.  She had fallen out of bed the night before and did not have the strength to get back up so she pulled her pillow off and slept all night on the floor.

I sent her dinner up as i often did.  She was fine but Hubby decided to go up after her meal and he was helping her with something.  She asked him to go into the other room to get something and while he was there, he heard her fall again.

Her broke her ankle severely.  This is not the first time she has broken her ankle.

As I stood there watching the ambulance leave, I wondered how much longer it would be before her children would have to decide to have her placed in an assisted living home.  She could not live by herself much longer and it was so sad to see such a vibrant strong woman fail the way she seemed to be failing lately.  But I was just her daughter in law and not one of her children.  I could not make the decision.  They would have to.

We could not find the youngest girl in the family because unbeknownst to us, she was off dealing with the death of someone in her family.  Yes, it was one of those days.

Now, anyone who thinks the decision to put a loved one in a home and thinks it is an easy decision to make, has never been faced with that decision.  It is not easy. It is one that will make you weep.  Even grown men like my husband, whom the family depends on for these matters, weeps.

I have heard people say, 'oh, they just put their loved ones in a home so they don't have to take care of them and won't get their checks.'  Not true. Not true at all for most people.

But, they have to do what is best for her and they have decided to have her placed in a home near us.  I am considering getting a volunteer job there and I can visit her and help out with other patients at the same time.  We shall see how that goes.

I know I will miss my friends long chats over coffee and such but she will be where she needs to be.  She will be safe.

The first picture above was taken on their 25th wedding anniversary and the last one was taken when Alix was born.

drainy day

I call it a drainy day cause it has been dreary and rainy all day.  A vast difference from the last week when we had record breaking temps in the 80's.

Looks like they have changed things here in bloggerland and I am not sure that I like it but only time will tell,

we took our dog to the vets the other day for his shots.  When we got him out of the car, we noticed blood on the blanket.  Turns out he cut his paw somehow.  We still do not know how.  We ended up having to have minor surgery on his paw and having five stitches put in.  He has it all wrapped and is enjoying being spoiled.  They have him on antibiotics and pain pills.  Good thing I was saving for a rainy day.  Vets are expensive but he is worth it.

Today we decided to go for a ride.  We drove out to some old farms we used to go pick berries on years ago and saw several places where old farmhouses once stood and Irisises and other flowers that I do not know the name of were growing.  We have decided to go out and get some of the plants tomorrow.  I love the old flowers.  

Then we stopped for an ice cream cone.  Yes it was cold and rainy but the ice cream tasted good.

Terrible prank to play............

Remember me saying my daughter called here crying cause her friend had died suddenly and we did not know why?    Well, I decided to go on facebook and when I did, I saw where several of his friends and relatives who are friends were all upset over it.  I contacted one of his cousins and he informed me that he had been on the phone and on facebook notifying friends and relatives (they have a very large family) that the young man did not die.  He got drunk and made the announcement as a joke.  He did it to get attention.  Well, he got it all right and it was not the type he wanted.  I really think he needs help.  I think he has issues.  His cousin said he did  something like this before but it was not on the computer and did not reach all the people that it did yesterday.  I think they need to get him some help. It could be a call for some real professional help that they are ignoring.  Or, maybe they are trying to help and he is just ignoring them.  I just hope he gets his life straightened out.

One of my facebook pals left this on my page this morning and I think it is one of the best things i have read in a long time.  The older I get, the more I realize how true some of this stuff is.  Life is not easy...no one ever said it would be and if I have chance to do something, I do it.  I no longer put it off.

Last night I went in for my sleep tests and I failed.  I knew I would. I had to be at the hospital at 3 in the morning as that is when I fall asleep and that is not normal.I got in there and I could not take the tests in the room they had me in so I had to wait til they prepared me for another room.  It was after four by the time they got me going.    I slept haphazardly then they got me up at ten to come home.

My daughter called.  She was distraught cause she got news her one friend died last night.  She was talking to him yesterday and it was quite a shock for her to get up and read on his facebook that he passed away last night or early this morning.  He was 27.  We do not know what happened but his mom died very young and his uncle had heart problems so we are waiting to see what happened.

Have a great day everyone.  I hope you are all having a good spring.

Happy Good Friday

Today is good friday but we celebrated Easter today because my youngest has to work on Easter and cannot be with her daughter and my grand will be spending Easter Sunday with he daddy and this will be the only time they can be here.  My eldest and her friend may come Sunday but I am not sure.  We did have some fun with her and I hope to post some pics here before the weekend is out.

We have had some lovely weather.  Cool compared to what we were having but more seasonal.  I know some of you have had snow but I hope that is out of the system by now.

Tomorrow I am going to be making home made Easter eggs for some in the family.  My girls both want them and I will make one for my mil  too.  The peanut butter kind.