I was looking for some quotes for another place where I meet with friends on line and I came across a quote by Barbra Bush. I am not a big fan of hers but I do like what she said...At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict, or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent.
-- Barbara Bush
I read that over a few times and thought of Pamela, my cousin of sorts. I say 'of sorts' because she was really my foster sister's daughter and we were the same age. Pamela was beautiful. She had everything she ever wanted. When she was 16 she got a new car. At Christmas she got every gift she ever wanted, even a mink one year. ( I never wanted a mink but she did). She had beautiful clothes. A maid, lovely home and a beautiful Mom and handsome dad. We all envied her.
When her parents got divorced, we still envied her because of all the guilt gifts they bought her.
One day we were all at my foster moms and Pamela was sitting by the piano playing it. I told her how I envied her when we were growing up. She started to cry. "Why would you envy me? I had parents I loved who I never saw because they were too busy making money to come home before midnight most days. Yes, I had a maid and she is the one I turned to most of the time. Not my mother. I had a great dad til I found out the only reason he and mom were together was because he promised her he would stay with us til my twenty first birth day and on that day he walked out the door and into the arms of the woman he had been seeing for years. Neither of my parents ever had time for me. You have no idea how much I hated and envied you because you had my grandmother to love you unconditionally. I hated you for that."
All that time I thought she was a happy spoiled brat, she was really a lonely little girl who had parents who loved her but did not know how to show it. They thought making money and giving her material things would be a good substitute for the time they did not spend with her. Sadly, she did not connect with her father much before he died but she did grow close to her mom for several years before she died.
But really, the best thing you can spend on your kids and grandkids is time...