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Tuesday, March 2, 2010

I was looking for some quotes for another place where I meet with friends on line and I came across a quote by Barbra Bush. I am not a big fan of hers but I do like what she said...At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict, or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent.
-- Barbara Bush

I read that over a few times and thought of Pamela, my cousin of sorts. I say 'of sorts' because she was really my foster sister's daughter and we were the same age. Pamela was beautiful. She had everything she ever wanted. When she was 16 she got a new car. At Christmas she got every gift she ever wanted, even a mink one year. ( I never wanted a mink but she did). She had beautiful clothes. A maid, lovely home and a beautiful Mom and handsome dad. We all envied her.

When her parents got divorced, we still envied her because of all the guilt gifts they bought her.

One day we were all at my foster moms and Pamela was sitting by the piano playing it. I told her how I envied her when we were growing up. She started to cry. "Why would you envy me? I had parents I loved who I never saw because they were too busy making money to come home before midnight most days. Yes, I had a maid and she is the one I turned to most of the time. Not my mother. I had a great dad til I found out the only reason he and mom were together was because he promised her he would stay with us til my twenty first birth day and on that day he walked out the door and into the arms of the woman he had been seeing for years. Neither of my parents ever had time for me. You have no idea how much I hated and envied you because you had my grandmother to love you unconditionally. I hated you for that."

All that time I thought she was a happy spoiled brat, she was really a lonely little girl who had parents who loved her but did not know how to show it. They thought making money and giving her material things would be a good substitute for the time they did not spend with her. Sadly, she did not connect with her father much before he died but she did grow close to her mom for several years before she died.

But really, the best thing you can spend on your kids and grandkids is time...


  1. Oh Garnet I found this story very sad....it should be possible to have a mother and father who love you as well as provide for you. One should never have to sacrifice one for the other, but it sounds like this family did.
    I had many friends who had every material thing they ever wanted who also had wonderful parents, but I am sure there are those who don't know the love of their parents whether they be rich or poor. I think these people don't know how to love anyone unconditionaly.....and I think the same as what Barbara Bush said, at the end of our lives the only thing that matters is the time and love one has shared with others.
    A life without love is not a life at all........:-) Hugs

  2. Her parents were good people but there were some problems.Number one is both were raised very poor, money wise and they became very bitter over it and thought money could solve all their problems. Another thing is, they were starved for love as adults and thought money could solve that. Both were driven to succeed and their only child suffered. The millions she got when they died could not ease the pain she felt. It could not buy back the time she wanted to spend with both her parents.

  3. It's possible her parents wouldn't have shown any more love if they'd spent more time with her. Too bad they didn't let her spend more time at Grandma's with you to get her fill of affection. My mother was home but wasn't the least affectionate.

  4. So true Garnet. Money can't buy you love. Love Di ♥

  5. I'm just speechless...how sad...

  6. That's a powerful piece: a good reminder to all of us.