You know the John Denver song Some days are Diamonds?  It goes some days are diamonds and some days are dirt?  Today is a dirt day.  Today I am taking my daugther to a mental hospital.  It hurts. It is tearing my heart apart but her behavior is tearing our family apart and it is where she needs to be.

I stated this early today and we just got back from admitting her to the hospital.  They told us her thyroid was dead and would have to be removed or, if she chose, to have it stay and just take hormones for it.  They said it could be part of the reason she is having homicidal tendencies towards me and our neighbor boy.  She was thinking of killing us both.  She wanted to kill him because she thinks he killed our dog over a year ago and she wanted to kill me because I annoyed her.

She is not normally like this so I knew had to have help and needed to be in the right place.   Even knowing that, it still makes me feel sad for her.  I hope we did the right thing.  I don't know how long she will stay there.  At least three days and I may see about having her committed for a time.  I just want to make sure she gets the help she needs.

I am sorry to have bored you all with this but I have no one around here to talk to about things like this.  Most have no idea what it is like to be living with or loving someone who is mentally ill.  You don't know what it is like to find out someone you love and you know she loves you in her own way, is planning to kill you.  Do I think she would go through with it?  When they are in one of those episodes, it is hard to tell what they will do.  I like to think she would not have done it though.  

I am glad she is where she is and will get the help she needs.