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Tuesday, March 20, 2012


I had someone tell me that those with alzheimer's are lucky in a way because they are in their own little world.  I looked at him and thought he was nuts and I told him so.  It has to be horrible to look at your children and not know who they are.  Not to mention the loved ones.  I know what it is like to have my mother look at me with a look of confusion and asked, "Who are you?"  It hurt.  One day I walked into her room and she smiled and hugged me.  I thought she knew me but she looked at me and said, "Did you stop and visit your mother today?  How is she?"  I realized she had no clue who I was.  What would I do if I could not remember my kids or my family and the good memories?  To me, that would be worse then dying.  It would be just existing and I would never want that.

A week before my brother died, I called and talked to him for awhile and when I started to feel down, he started to cheer me up by talking and laughing over some of the things we did when we were kids.  I realized what he was doing.  He did want me feeling bad so he wanted me to remember the good times.  The last thing he said to me was, 'I love you, Darlene.'  That is one memory I will cherish and smile about.

Memories are like blankets that cover us and comfort us when we are sad.  We can choose what to remember and I chose to remember all the fun times we had.  I choose to not to remember the bad things that happened in my life.


  1. That disease is terrible....so sad.
    I'm glad for your Happy memories sweetie...

  2. Dementia could only be good if it took you away from something worse. When I was in hospital, there was another lady named Jean with Alzheimers. The poor dear was confused and afraid - not having a clue what was going on. She called out constantly. She would be quiet when I went over to talk to her and listen but was so frightened even so and not sure she could trust me either. That would be awful. My father, whose dementia was caused by alcohol, on the other hand, did not have a lot of anxiety. His old personality came back - he seemed to have forgotten all about booze and the bad things in life. He always knew my mother and usually knew me although the details were gone. He lived in a dream far from reality. The transition stage, when you know you are losing it is a nightmare for everyone - often causing rage so I wouldn't wish it on anyone especially as you don't get to choose how the disease will affect you

    I'm so glad you were left with good memories - your brother was very thoughtful.

    1. My mother was very confused most of the time. She did not know where she was or why she was in a strange place. It was sad.