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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

It was a lovely day out today. The first we had in a long time. I did get out and walk down the dirt lane to our mail box and I loved seeing the fall colors surrounding me as a I walked. I came back and sat down in my chair by the window and wondered what I could write about.

I glanced at the mirror in my curio cabinet and saw the dew rag on my head. Yes, the dew rag that cancer patients often wear when they are losing or have lost their hair. I always wear it or a wig when I go out. (I may not have to do that much longer but will explain later). Anyway, it reminded me of an incident that happened when I had to go to the hospital after hurting my knee last summer.

I was sitting in the wheelchair waiting to be wheeled out of the emergecny room by my husband after the dr. examined me. He did not want me walking to the car so he said to use a wheelchair. Suddenly, this woman walked over and knelt down in front of me and said in a very condesending tone, 'Oh, they are taking you out for a walk today. How nice.' I could not understand why she was talking to me like I was a child then I saw the dew rag on my head. I wanted to punch her in the face. But I realized she just did no understand how silly that tone is when talking an adult who she assumes has cancer.

Now I know why many with cancer do not want to talk about it because they do not want to be looked on in such a pitying way. Nor do they want to be talked to in that way. Talk to them like you would people who are not sick. That is what I do. When I saw one of my friends in there for her cheme treatments I said my hellos and just asked her how hew treatments were going. I did not pity her. I love her as a friend. Btw, she is five years free now and I am grateful for that.

Anyway, I did hear from my daughter today. They did get the house they wanted and she is very happy about it. Things are going well for her. I think both my daughters are showing signs of changing into the lovely young women I know they can be.


  1. I had a lovely day today as well, I spent the afternoon with a 92 year old man getting groceries and I loved it.
    When I went through my chemo, I tried to wear a wig, then what you call a dew rag, finally I said the heck with it and went bald. It really didn't bother me what I looked like, I wanted to be comfortable and focused on getting better....I was more than a breast or a bald head, I let people think what they wanted.
    I would of enjoyed talking with you though, I think the way you talked with your friend was wonderful.
    So glad to hear your daughters are both doing well, I know this will make you very happy.....:-) Hugs

  2. Some people mean well, but they are clueless.

  3. I often wonder why some use a tone of voice as if soothing a child when speaking to an adult...it is a little unnerving.

    Good to hear your daughters are doing well...Enjoy your days Garnet!

  4. Hi Garnet, Some people are just ignorant unless you make them aware. We all need to be told from tome to time that we are messing up. Or else how do we know? I am happy for your daughter, how exciting!
    Love Di

  5. People are weird. I had this stuffed elephant with me on my electric scooter in Wal-MKart. Betty and I were taking pictures of it as part of a blog thing. I had my oxygen on. This lady looked at me and used that tone. I told her the elephant traveled from blog to blog. She said in that tone " How sweet dear. Takee good care of her." I almost hit her.

  6. Dr John...I felt as you did. *s*

    Bernie..I am glad you had a great day too.

    Wanda..I agree.