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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

I always loved you best.

I know we all love our kids.  I love mine for various reasons.  At least I love certain things about them and at times I feel closer to one to one of my kids.  Feeling closer to one does not mean you love the other any less.  Those who are parents understand what I mean by this.

Erma Bombeck would understand.  She wrote one article that I have never forgotten.  It was about a dying mother and the letters she left behind for her three children.  I will share it with you.

I've Always Loved You Best Because ...

To the First-born: I've always loved you best because you were our first miracle. You were the genesis of a marriage, the fulfillment of young love, the promise of our infinity.
You sustained us through the hamburger years. The first apartment furnished in Early Poverty ... our first mode of transportation (1955 feet) ... the 7-inch television set we paid on for 36 months.
You wore new, had unused grandparents and more clothes than a Barbie doll. You were the "original model" for unsure parents trying to work the bugs out. You got the strained lamb and three-hour naps.
You were the beginning.
To the Middle Child: I've always loved you the best because you drew a dumb spot in the family and it made you stronger.
You cried less, had more patience, wore faded, and never in your life did anything "first," but it only made you more special. You are the one we relaxed with and realized a dog could kiss you and you wouldn't get sick. You could cross a street by yourself long before you were old enough to get married, and the world wouldn't come to an end if you went to bed with dirty feet.

You were the continuance
To the Baby: I've always loved you the best because endings generally are sad and you are such a joy. You readily accepted the mild-stained bibs. The lower bunk. The cracked baseball bat. The baby book, barren but for a recipe for graham cracker pie crust that someone jammed between the pages.
You are the one we held onto so tightly. For you see, you are the link with the past that gives a reason for tomorrow. You darken our hair, quicken our steps, square our shoulders, restore our vision, and give us humor that security and maturity can't give us.
When your hairline takes on the shape of Lake Erie and your children tower over you, you will still be "the Baby."
You were the culmination.

Erma Bombeck © 1991
I love my eldest because she needs me. I know it sounds strange but I like the fact that she needs my advice and often comes to me with her problems. I love her because she is the type that would give you the shirt off your back if she felt you needed it. Or, if you just wanted it. She is very giving.
I love my youngest because of her independence. She free spirited and I love that about her. She is talented and has talent I wished I had. I love her feistiness and willingness to try new things.

No, my kids are not perfect but they are mine and I love them. Inspite of, or because of, all we have gone through, we love each other.


  1. I know what you mean....Momma Grizley!Hahaa...

  2. I think you give to your kids what they need from you at the time. Sometimes that means that you spend more time with one than the other in a certain period of time. And then it may very well switch around.

  3. You are an awesome Mom and your children are very blessed to have you. XX

  4. This was an awesome post!! It's so true also. I love my granddaughters for completely different reasons and they each feel like they are loved more!! That a grandma's perogative.

  5. It's true. We can love people even for their weaknesses - maybe because they draw out our strengths and make us better.
    And while we have a simple generic love for our kids, we also love them as individuals.

    And sometimes, we are closer to one than another because of mutual interests but it doesn't mean we love the others less.

  6. That was so beautiful Garnet. I can feel what a wonderful mother you are, and I know none of us are perfect but we do our best. I can tell that you do your very best! Love Di ♥

  7. Simply good. I love your writing and you are doing the right thing as a mother.
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