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Friday, April 24, 2009

The good things about her....

I am going to spend some time telling you all about my family and how we came to be a family of four and not two as we had been for so many years. My husband and I were married in 1972. We found out two years later that I could not carry a child full term after after trying for two years and losing the babies I was carrying. I had two miscarriages and one ectopic pregnancy which could have killed me at that time. We did not have all the modern techniques they have now to take care of that.

I was devastated. Well both of us were. We talked of adoption for many years but it was not til his father passed away in 1989 that we decided to adopt but we did not do it the conventional way. We became foster parents. We did that because I was foster child and I would understand what the kids were going through.

A foster parent I knew was telling me about a girl she felt sorry for cause her foster parents had her but the did not like her and they were telling all sorts of things that should not be shared with anyone while the child was so young and in foster care. I prayed I could get that child.

A few weeks later they called to say they had a nine year old girl who had to be moved and would we be interested. We said yes. It was the girl who is now my eldest.

She had so many problems to overcome. She had gone thru things most of us could never imagine going thru. Top that off with the fact that she had already been diagnosed with a mental illness, we knew we were headed for a rough time of it.

But when you have your own kids and they have a problem, do you toss them out of the house. No. We decided we could handle it.

We were told she would never graduate from high school because she is also slighly retarded. She did. We were told she would not have a job. She has worked. She needs help and has to be told what to do by someone but she has done it and she can do it if she keeps on her meds.

Yes we have had problems with her and continue for various reasons simply because of her mental illness. But she is a good hearted person who would give you the shirt off her back. She would do anything for people that she knows need her help.

She writes lovely poetry and had won an award in highschool for her poems. I wish I had some here but she took her book with her when she moved out. She is a good person and I am proud of her in many ways. I just wish she could enjoy life and find the happiness she deserves.

I pray someday her illness will let her do that.


  1. I'm sure having you stand by her all these years has made all the difference in her life.

  2. Being foster parents is a very admirable thing...all children should have the security of a loving home...nice that you provided one for her.

  3. I too have a daughter who suffers from a mental illness, by polar, and it has caused much worry but the good memories are so worth it. I would take on her illness in a minute for her to know life without it. All we can do is love and support them unconditionaly and pray every day. Our daughters did not ask for this disease, it is a burden more heavily carried by them than us, although we all feel the pain. I understand how hard it is but I do know by always loving them will make the hard times a bit easier to bare. Good Luck my friend and may the angels guide you in the choices you must make. I will pray for your family...:-)Hugs always

  4. I would like to thank all of you for your kind words. Of course I have a loving husband who made a wonderful father and a very supportive dad to both our girls.

  5. Hubby and I were married in '72 Also! You're Great parents!! Both of you deserve kudos for adopting!!!!(((HUG)))

  6. I'm impressed. I have to admire people who have been able to step up like you.

  7. I love this post. We have a daughter with mental illness and it is difficult to find peace in my heart with all the worry occupying if for her. Your foster parenting and being a foster child offers me some insight I am looking for. Nice to meet you.