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Saturday, February 19, 2011

Good Morning

I awoke early this morning to have breakfast with my hubby before he left for work.  I don't get to do this often because he is  a shift worker and does not always have breakfast here.  Shift workers miss out on alot of things with family and it is nice to share breakfast with him when I can.  One more year of this and then he can retire. One more. Right now we are counting the months and it won't be long til we will be counting the days.

He is planning a hunting trip to Illinois the November and we are both trying to think of a place we can go for a few days this summer. I like short vacations.  I don't know why but I would rather take a few short vacations thn one long one.  I would like to spend a few days with my cousin this year.  She and I get along good and she is a great person.

One time after her husband had died, she called and was not sounding right. She was talking about how happy she was to be selling some of her things and sorting things she wanted her kids to have and putting them in marked boxes.  She was also sorting out photographs and deciding who should get what.

I said something like, "you'v kept busy."

She said, "Well, it won't be long til I am up on the hill beside Bill."

I did not like that at all. I said, "Oh, will be a while"

She said , "No.  It will be before Christmas." (this was like in August)

I did not like the sound of that at all so I called her eldest daughter as soon as I got off the phone.  She said, "Oh my God!  The dr. put her on prozac after dad died las year and he told us to watch for signs of suicide but she has not talked that way to us."  I said, "Well, she has to me and I hope you do not tell her I told you because she calls me and tells me things she might not tell you."
"Oh, I won't." she said.

I waited a few weeks before calling Donna.  "Oh, it's my guardian angel," she said. She proceded to tell me that she really was planning on ending it all but the girls (she has three) and her son came over the day after I called and they convinced her they needed her and asked her to stop taking the prozac.  She did and her outlook on life improved.  That was a  few years ago and she is going strong and getting out and seeing people, doing things she never thought of doing before. She is enjoying life the way her Bill would have expected her to do.

I often wonder what people did before we had pills to fall on when we lost someone?  We do not want to feel the pain of grieving so we pop a pill.  I am not condemning anyone for this. I have no idea what it is like to lose a husband.  I lost my mom but I had my rocks, my Bill and my God to depend on.  I know I will be devastated if he goes before I do but I will have my faith in God to see me thru.  I  won't say that I will never take pills for it but I hope I am strong enough not to take them.  I think they just postpone the real grieving process and often cause people to have suicidal thoughts. 

I am glad I have my cousin, who is only a phone call away when I need a shoulder to cry on, to talk to today.  I do not feel as though 'tattled' on her.  If I did, then I did but it was for a good reason.

She is with me and I will always cherish her as a friend.


  1. Unfortunately grief is a part if life and I agree with you Garnet. Pills only delay the grief. It took me a little over a year to go through it after my mom died and I still have it at times. This Sunday would have been her 73 rd birthday so she will be on my mind and I may even shed a few tears but it is normal to do so. You were smart to call family in. I'm glad that you did that. Love Di ♥

  2. I'm glad you paid attention when she was talking to you! Some people might have been oblivious. My daughter was on a medication for a few years - she says she didn't feel like herself at all - just numb and then coming off it, she had to deal not just with her issues but withdrawal as well - which the doctor didn't believe she had. I think such pills should only be temporary and the person have a therapist or counsellor to guide them through their problems so they can learn to face and deal with them. Not that I've been to one but I've had problems and wish I'd had someone to talk to and help me get my head straight. My daughter eventually did talk to someone and she says it helped her a lot.

  3. We have to really listen and be ready to help when the signs are there. Good choice. Have a great weekend.

  4. Sounds like a good friend indeed even though you are related.

  5. I think it's awesome that you said something to your cousins children. I was on a medication for depression(prescribed when I wasn't even feeling depressed but suppose to help with pain and to cope with pain) and it completely changed me and made me actually want to die. Thankfully my husband and daughter said something because I didn't even realize it...I went off of it and going off of it felt like I was in hell. But once off of it I felt more like myself then I had in a long time. I refuse to take a pill for mmost anything anymore.

    I agree with you I will depend on my faith and those that love me to help me get through losing my husband or another loved one.

    I'm so thankful your cousin is doing better! Happy weekend!

  6. The "drugs" of today are out and out Scary!! She didn't need Prozac because she lost her husband???!!!!!! What an IDIOT for a Dr.!!
    She needed LOVE....and TOUCH! Geeezus!!
    I'll just shut up now! BUT...Thank God for you and her family! You DID save her life, you know...

  7. Meds can certainly affect you. Sometimes they are needed, but sometimes they are not. They can certainly be overdone.

  8. I believe medications can be misused in two ways, if someone takes them when they don't need them or if someone doesn't take their meds when it is important too.....this is where a good doctor comes into play, if he knows his patient he will know how to treat them. I am glad you helped your cousin, you were right to call her daughter.......:-) Hugs